The author of this article notes that divorce among older citizens is not a passing trend. It is a defining feature of today’s wealth landscape.

This article, about divorces among older adults, comes from Jennifer Votano (pictured below), who is managing director, family office, at RWA Wealth Partners, an independent wealth management firm. Divorce, marital law and related issues are important topics for private client advisors to grasp, given the wealth at stake, and the need for advisors to prove their value for clients and status as trusted sources of counsel. 

The editors are pleased to share these insights; the usual editorial disclaimers apply to views of guest writers. Please enter the conversation and share comments and ideas. Email tom.burroughes@wealthbriefing.com and amanda.cheesley@clearviewpublishing.com

Jennifer Votano

Gray divorce is no longer an emerging trend; it represents a structural shift that wealth advisors can no longer afford to ignore. While overall divorce rates in the US have declined – from 19 divorces per 1,000 married individuals in 1990 to 13.7 per 1,000 in 2023 – the data tells a very different story for older adults. Among those aged 65 and older, divorce rates have more than tripled over that same period, rising from 1.8 per 1,000 in 1990 to 6.7 per 1,000 in 2023. Divorce over age 65 represents approximately 50 per cent of all divorces. 

At the same time, longer life expectancies and decades-long post-retirement life are reshaping family structures and the way wealth is managed, transferred, and experienced across generations.     

According to the CDC, US life expectancy today averages 79 years – meaning that many need to support extended periods of financial independence, frequently spanning 25 to 30 years or more in retirement. When we break down the data further, the average life expectancy is 81.4 years for women, nearly five years more than for men. Thus, women’s longer life expectancy heightens the need for crucial conversations around family and wealth.

For advisors, this isn’t just a demographic shift. It is a call to action. The challenge is how to support clients through gray divorce effectively. This is critical when working with women, who often experience the greatest financial and emotional impact.

Despite meaningful gains in education, workforce participation, and financial independence, many women still enter divorce with less hands-on experience of managing investments, retirement planning, and long-term financial strategy. This is particularly important given that women initiate approximately 70 per cent of divorces, according to Psychology Today.  

Unwinding a long-term financial partnership is rarely straightforward. Decades of commingled assets, including retirement accounts, real estate, investment portfolios, and, in some cases, family businesses, must be evaluated and divided with intention and care. For high net worth families, complexity is often amplified by layered estate structures designed for a unified household rather than two independent financial lives.

In this environment, advisors often need to help clients navigate a network of attorneys, accountants, and estate professionals. For women who may not have historically been the primary financial decision-maker, breaking down decisions into understandable, actionable steps can support more consistent outcomes and help individuals better understand available choices during times of uncertainty. The financial consequences of gray divorce can be both immediate and long-lasting. Research shows that women over 50 experience a 45 per cent decline in their standard of living post-divorce, compared with a 21 per cent decline for men. This disparity is driven by a combination of factors, including lower lifetime earnings, time out of the workforce for caregiving, and reduced access to retirement benefits.

As a result, cash-flow planning becomes a cornerstone of post-divorce advice. Advisors can assist clients in reassessing their financial picture from the ground up, developing sustainable income strategies, evaluating withdrawal rates, and balancing current lifestyle needs with long-term financial objectives.

Incorporating proactive tax planning – such as reviewing filing status, understanding the tax impact of support payments, structuring withdrawals efficiently, and assessing the after-tax value of assets received in a divorce settlement – can help clients make informed financial decisions. For some women, this represents their first deep engagement with these concepts. 

Housing decisions present another layer of complexity. The family home is often both a financial asset and an emotional anchor, making it one of the most difficult choices in the divorce process. Maintaining a home independently may not always be practical, particularly when it requires transitioning from one household to two. Advisors must guide these conversations with both empathy and objectivity, helping clients align their decisions with long-term financial sustainability.

Healthcare and insurance planning also take on increased importance. Divorce can result in the loss of spousal health coverage, requiring individuals to navigate Medicare, private insurance, or COBRA options. At the same time, the likelihood of needing long-term care increases with age, particularly for individuals who may no longer have a partner to lean on for support. A comprehensive review of health, life, and long-term care coverage can be an important consideration.

Yet, an overlooked and often valuable role an advisor can play is in addressing the emotional and behavioral dimensions of financial decision-making. Gray divorce is often accompanied by grief, uncertainty, and a redefinition of identity after decades of partnership. Even highly capable individuals can feel destabilized when faced with major financial decisions during such a transitional period. Advisors who recognize this dynamic may be able to provide meaningful differentiation. By creating space for thoughtful conversations, pacing decisions appropriately, and connecting clients with additional support resources, they can help mitigate the risk of reactive or rash decisions. More importantly, they can foster a sense of trust and partnership during a time of change.

Gray divorce is not just about dividing assets. It is about redefining the future. For many women, this means stepping out on their own, often for the first time. Advisors have an opportunity to guide this transition by fostering financial literacy, encouraging engagement, and helping clients articulate what they want their next chapter to look like.

Closing the financial education gap is an important aspect of this work. Education should be treated as an ongoing dialogue. Through structured planning conversations, tailored resources, and community-based learning opportunities, advisors can help women build the knowledge needed to make informed financial decisions.

Reframing the conversation around wealth itself can be beneficial. Many women emerging from gray divorce are focused on alignment. They want to ensure that their financial decisions reflect their values, support their families, and enable the life they want to lead. This can mean revisiting estate planning. Divorce may fundamentally alter the assumptions underlying wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations. Updating these documents is not simply a technical exercise, it is an important step in helping clients protect assets, ensure that intentions are honored, and establish a foundation for the next chapter.

Supporting clients with a coordinated team of trusted advisors (legal, tax, and financial) who collaborate closely helps provide clear communication, coordinated strategies, and thoughtful execution throughout the process.

Gray divorce is not a passing trend. It is a defining feature of today’s wealth landscape. The data underscores its scale, but the real opportunity lies in how financial advisors and institutions respond. 

By combining technical expertise with empathy, advisors can help clients navigate a time of transition and support women in their financial future.

About the author 
Jennifer Votano, CFA®, CFP®, is managing director, Family Office at RWA Wealth Partners, an independent wealth management firm managing $21.5 billion in assets. She is also co-head of Wealth With Intention, RWA’s recently launched platform designed to support the evolving needs of women and next-generation investors through specialized advice, education, and community engagement.

Disclaimer 
The contents of this communication are for informational and educational purposes only and are not intended as investment, legal or tax advice. Please consult with your investment, legal or tax advisor concerning any specific questions you may have. RWA does not guarantee the accuracy and completeness of any sourced data in this communication.